The definition of a hug is to “squeeze (someone) tightly in one’s arms, typically to express affection.” I’ve thought a lot about hugs lately. I’ve been getting a whole lot of them from family, friends as well as people that I have never met before.  People that I hadn’t seen in 30 years. People I had seen last week. People I have known all my life. People that knew Riley and not me  have all delivered squeezes to me tightly in their arms to express affection. I am not sure if the hugs are for these people because of their pain or for me. I think the hug is being delivered for both of us. If you know me,  you know I find odd strange questions to hang on to and analyze. This one is my latest.  What Makes a Hug? I have noticed that sometimes a hug is given or shared with me that I can melt into. I can feel it all the way through me. I can relax and release in that moment.  The thing is, it’s random of who is delivering it to create that feeling in me. It doesn’t really have any consistent factor. So is it me needing that hug at that moment or is it who is delivering the hug that can make the hug feel that way?

One of those really good hugs came from a woman.  She’s a little squishy. She’s not real short. Not real tall. I don’t even think she likes me much but she delivered a hug by putting her arms around me and I melted. I instantly released tears and felt comfort in her arms. It was a good hug. Another hug that has stuck out came from a man. I was busy being greeted by strangers and I got this hug. It was delivered amongst the chaos. It felt genuine and for the time his arms were around me, I could breath a little better like a sigh of relief. I felt that hug all the way through me.  I thought to myself after I let go of him, now that was a good one!  And then there was Riley’s elementary school teacher.  It was a surprise to see her and what a warm feeling when she hugged me. It was a hug that helped me breath better for a few minutes. I released some tears with her. I was able to relax for a minute in her hug. I am thankful to have those hugs. That’s a reprieve I don’t get very often these days. My pain stays hour to hour, day to day. It is a constant that is not going to change. I have to learn to live with it. I know that.

A Riley Hug

I can order up a good hug from my kids. I love hugging Braden. Braden is 6’4″ and me, Mom, fits right around my baby’s waist. It’s a good spot. Braden has a heart of gold and his hugs feel like gold.  Bria and I meet at a mutual spot when we hug- two girls who are alike more than either one of us wants to admit. We are best friends holding each other. I love hugging Bria. Now Riley’s  hugs were unique and I asked for them in a reverence of what I was about to receive.  No lie! The picture above is one of mine and Bria’s favorites. You can see because that is what happened when you were lucky to receive a hug from Riley. Bria was moving to Colorado and we were all up early to send her and Braden off on a road trip. I think Riley is 14 in that picture. Bria was 20. I know all that have received a hug from Riley will agree, Riley’s hugs were special! He wrapped his arms around you and picked you up. He held you tight. Sometimes I asked for him to not let go yet. I soaked in my baby boy’s hugs. I knew they were special at the time but Oh what I would do for one more….. No, a lifetime more of Riley hugs to go with Bria and Braden hugs.  I should still be gathering all three of my kids’  hugs. I need all three of their kind of hugs. (I just did a heavy sigh).  I have to be glad that I had my sweet baby boy in my life for the time that I did. That he has left a lasting impression on the world by his presence here for 18 years. It should of been longer. I planned for it to be a lot longer. It wasn’t.

Hug your kids. Hold them tight. Feel it all the way through you to your core and savor it. Whether the hug is for you, for them or both of you……. HUG.

I Love You, Riley.