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Facebook has a “On This Day” feature that shows a person what happened on this day on their Facebook wall over the years. The memories that are highlighted are of activities that happened on your wall such as what you posted, what others shared to your wall and the messages they wrote to you there. When I look I often smile to see where I was, what I was doing and thinking that day that year. Today one of the memories gripped me.

On this day, today- February 20, 2009 at 7:10 pm, Riley wrote a message on my Facebook wall. It said, “Whatcha want mom?”

He was 12 on this day in 2009. He was in the 7th grade at Willis Jr High. His hair was short. He was playing saxophone in the jr high band. I drove him to school and picked him up every day. We had extra time together in the mornings after Bria and Braden went to high school because Willis Jr High had a later start time. He was a good student. He had friends from band, grade school and church.

He was involved at church in the youth group. He loved his youth leader. He was into gaming on the computer, XBox and Playstation 2. His big Christmas present in December was Guitar Hero. He had sleep overs that involved Guitar Hero til the wee hours of the morning.

It was a Friday night when he sent that message. I bet he was across the street playing on computers at the Marlins’ house. I had written a “Riley!” on his wall that morning. That was his response 12 hours later. I was new to Facebook. I didn’t click the “like” button when I got it that night. I didn’t respond with a comment to his message, “Whatcha want mom?”until today.

I have an answer for him now. I have a very long answer for him.

What do I want Riley?

I want you here. I want you alive. I want to see you smiling from across the room at me. I want to hear your voice. I want you to yell down the stairs telling me that you are going to bed and ask me to come up. I want to loop my arm around yours, lean my head on your shoulder and tell you how proud I am of you. I want you to know how much you lit up my life.

I want to touch you. I want to touch you so bad. I want a Riley hug. I want to put my arms around you, hold you tight and not let you go. I want to look into your blue eyes and tell you that I love you instead of yelling it into the clouds hoping it reaches you in heaven.

I want you to have made a different choice that night. I want you to have skipped trying the LSD. I want something to have been different in the scheme of that evening to have changed the outcome.

I want to laugh with you til we have tears in our eyes. I want to make you coffee and swing on the porch swing together. I want to sit and listen to you play your guitar. I want you to be in your sophomore year of college at NAU. I want you to be happy and smiling. I want you to grow to be 95. I want you to outlive me. I want you alive.

That’s what I want. That’s what I truly sincerely want. If only I could get what I want.

I Love You, Riley.

THANK YOU for sharing Riley’s story. When I wrote that post, ‘I HATE DRUGS’ on Facebook the day after the incident, I was still in shock- well, I still am by all means in shock. Not sure that will ever go away. The rumors were already flying around within hours. I felt that I needed to share with my friends on Facebook as well as friends of Riley’s, what we knew of what had happened that night. As I wrote it, I didn’t hesitate, I laid it out there and did a call to action because that is how I felt. I wanted it out there so that the story stuck in people’s minds. So that other teens thought twice before trying a drug. I want the consequences of drug use front and center. From making one raw, personal post on Facebook, the story began to get shared. It reached Karina Bland who is a reporter for the Arizona Republic, the largest newspaper in Arizona. She felt led to share in the largest way she could- by writing an article. Low and behold the article made the front page of the Sunday paper and ya know what is amazing? As I’m writing this, there have been 10, 331 shares to Facebook from azcentral.com. That’s not counting the shares on Twitter, Linked in or by email. Karina said earlier in the day yesterday that 79,000 people had read the article from those shares. At that point there had been 7,000 Facebook shares from azcentral.com. As the shares have increased that means the reach of the article has increased as well………people are reading Riley’s story. People from all over and I mean, different states even Canada are messaging me telling me their personal stories of loss, their feelings as they have read the article, and their answer to my call to action to share the story. THANK YOU.

I received a message from a young man the same age as Riley, who just graduated from high school. He said he didn’t know or go to school with Riley, but they had a few friends in common, so he had heard Riley’s story somewhat through the grapevine. He saw one of his friends share the AZ Central story, and it caught his interest so he read it. He said he was in tears after reading it. He couldn’t even believe it. It had however changed his heart. A lot of his friends had been trying out acid, and had asked him to try it too. They told him it’s so much fun, and that it’s not dangerous at all. He said he was getting really close to doing it. He was even thinking about hanging with some friends and trying it this weekend and after reading my son’s story, he had decided that he will never ever touch the stuff. That he just wanted me to know that Riley changed his life. And he said, ” for that I am so thankful. Who knows what would’ve happened had I never read his story”. Did that give you goosebumps? It did me! It made tears fall down my cheeks. There it is! That is why I am sharing Riley’s story. That is why I am so thankful that you are sharing Riley’s story with whoever will listen because that share might be at the right time, in the right moment to change the path of a teen or an adult. I am going to venture to say that this stupid, horrific, all wrong story that I hate very much that it even exists could and will save a life. THANK YOU.

Thank you from Greg, Djuana, Bria, Braden & Riley.

10, 654 shares

I love you, Riley.