His Yin Yang Necklace

I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck as he lifted me up off of my feet and held me tight. A Yin Yang symbol hung on a black cord around his neck.

On my wrist I wore a bracelet that had the same Yin Yang symbol. We talked fervently about the symbolism of Yin Yang and how two halves together complete wholeness. We dissected the balance and harmony of dark/light, bad/good, cold/heat, moon/sun, and death/life.

Two months later, I sat in a cold office of a funeral home as I longed for the warmth of his hug. Shaking, stoic, aching in pain I stared at the funeral director as she talked about his belongings. I told her he had a necklace around his neck that I wanted. She said, “It might need to be cleaned.” I replied, “I want it”.

Riley’s birth and death occurred on the same date. My son, a part of me, is gone by a first try of a drug at age 18. His light went dark. His warmth turned cold. He died and he lived. The bad took away his good. His good takes away the bad as I speak telling his story to save another child from his fate. The sun sets and the moon rises as the days go by. I live until I die so that I can be whole again as I feel his arms around my neck in place of his necklace.

I Love You, Riley

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4 thoughts on “His Yin Yang Necklace”

Your words took my breath away. I sometimes go to respond to the words you put out there and feel that nothing I can say will matter, help, or make a difference in any way…so I delete them. I hope you know that there are those of us out here that think of you, pray for you, and want to speak to you, but feel that the words are just not strong enough. I wish I could do more than just write and let you know you are loved and that prayer warriors are on your side, but somehow I think that just might be enough. ❤

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