I am almost to Kentucky. Just 258 miles left. I have not ever left Arizona without a plan of being back in a couple of weeks. This move is a huge change for me. For years, I have had a dream of having a cabin in the woods. The fact that I have bought a cabin on my own is big. The fact that I have bought a real log cabin in Kentucky is even bigger. I have learned that to take a step in faith reaps reward.  The rewards have shown themselves in personal growth, challenges and often, a load of blessings that come in all kinds of forms. I am following my dream and I am going with the flow.  Onward and Upward I go.

It is more painful than I had imagined to leave family, friends, familiar streets, buildings, corners, parks….ha-ha…….its going from what I know to what I do not know. It is really really hard to leave Riley things behind. It was a struggle up to the last minute that I walked out the door before I hit the road wondering if I have everything of him with me that might be important to have. I took odds and ends of strange things. Guitar picks, a rock that he had saved, a pencil, two of his WWF wrestlers, his Vans that were at the bottom of the stairs so often, a scrap of paper with a doodle on it, books he had read, music he loved, his tuba mouth piece among other small simple things that he had touched. I am also bringing some of Riley’s ashes to spread in Kentucky. Riley goes with me in my heart. The pain of losing him doesn’t waiver. It is nice to have something to touch but what is most important can’t be left behind.

As I drove out of Arizona, I was looking backwards for the first two days of driving. As I get closer to Kentucky, I am looking forward to what is ahead. It’s taken alot of miles to turn my head around and I’m not totally sure that I have but it’s better. I will arrive in the driveway of my very own log cabin today and the adventure begins. With all of this driving, I have some thoughts on road trips- here are some of my notes to self.

1. Pay attention to road signs! Oh, too often, I notice too late that I am passing an Exit that I needed, thinking, “Oh no I just missed another one and I have to go!” This leads to the reality that I’ll be miserable for no idea how much longer til I find another Exit which sometimes I pass yet again while in deep thought. Hence, my moaning becomes even louder! This also happens with the need to get gas so I have learned to fill up the gas tank whenever I stop for the aforementioned need. Pay attention.

2. Other vehicles on such a long drive become like friends to me. They come into your lane, they drive near you. This is sometimes for quite a long time. There is passing of each other, moving to the right, moving to the left, following, and leading. Thinking you’ve left them behind and there they are again. And just as friends do, they go and exit along the way. But no fear, a new vehicle comes along to occupy your space sometimes for a short time, sometimes for miles and miles. Friends come and go.

3. I feel a sense of safety with the semi’s around me. I have grown to be amazed by these big guys as they take up the highway. This may have to do with a tall gentle giant who is a trucker and a friend. Just like I appreciate his presence in my life, I appreciate those semi’s close by on the open road. I also have noticed my impatience in sharing the road with the semi’s when two trucks take up two lanes and hold me up. So as I like safety, I also want to keep moving. Stay safe. Have some patience.

4. Music is important on a road trip. I burned CD’s of Riley’s favorite music for this trip. It makes me cry imagining him listening to the music. I wish I could discuss the music with him like we used to. I have found new bands that I really like that he liked. I have also found I do not like some of his taste in music at all. Riley’s tastes in music covered about every genre of music.  The more I grit my teeth and listen, the more some of it grows on me. Keep listening.

Onward to Kentucky I go. I have challenges ahead. How to deal with snow, mowing an acre of land, meeting new people and becoming familiar with my new streets, buildings, corners, parks, and critters such as raccoon, opossums, coyote and deer.  With all the new while carrying the old and familiar, I am most certain that Upward I go! ……….Watch me fly!

I Love You, Riley!